I’ve been trying to figure out what is the best way to tell Zeeb his adoption story.  Or rather, what would be the best way to put it into a book format.  I have every intention of making adoption lifebooks for both R~ and Zeeb but that seems like a very big, very important project and I’m putting it off until I feel ready to take it on and do it right. (I know, it sounds like a lame excuse to me too, but there it is) And I also plan to scrapbook our trip to Vietnam, but I don’t think the family scrapbook is the best place to share Zeeb’s story, from beginning to coming home with us. My latest idea is to make a book from the kids’ point of view… something like “When R met Zeeb”. I have bits and pieces of the story in my mind, but its not yet ready to be committed to paper (or er, computer). So, in the meantime, I’m looking for one of those personalized story books that you can order.

We bought the Create-A-Book adoption story for R~ … my in-laws gave K~ the original style one and we really liked it; the adoption one worked pretty well for R~ because she came home as a baby. (it talks about a crib and other baby things).

I also got R~ this book, Coming Home. The binding isn’t as high-quality as the Create-A-Book one, but it’s more personalized for a child from Asia. R~ really likes reading it together. 

This month in Adoptive Families, there’s a new personalized story book from a company called My Creations. The cool thing about this company is they only make books for children from unique families. (formed by adoption, in-vitro, even surrogates!) And, they personalize the illustrations to match your family – skin color, eye and hair color. So, I thinking this one is the winner. Now the tough part is filling in all the personalized parts! (Toughest question: “Special feature of your child the first time you saw him”) I know from experience that if I fill it in wrong it will bug me forever after when I read it to Zeeb. (In R~’s book it asked for the first toy we gave her or something like that – I named a doll thing that R~ has never played with once. Oops.)

How are you sharing your child’s story with him/her? 

She being my 11 (almost 12) year old daughter.  And why does she hate me?  Because I won’t let do her homework after 9pm at night.  I know, how evil can I be?  She has this poster due on Friday in her language arts class… an assignment she’s known about for at least two weeks… and she apparently wanted to stay up all night tonight working on it so she’d be free to play tomorrow afternoon.  I know she’ll have plenty of time to finish the thing tomorrow, and frankly I’m hoping this feeling of being stressed because she procrastinated too much will stay with her and maybe even teach her something.  But it still hurt when she said, “ugh, I hate you!”

I know, her hormones are raging (that dang puberty thing is kicking in, big time) and she’s stressed and tired.  She’s been moody and cranky for days really.  But this is so not how I wanted things to be between us.  I want her to know I’m always on her side.  I want her to know I understand and she can trust me.  I never wanted to be her adversary. 

Being a mom is hard.  And it just gets harder every day. 

How on earth did I become the mother of a pre-teenager?

Confession Time: I haven’t made a public comment yet on those increased fees yet. This part stressed me out:

Those interested in commenting should take time to review the proposed regulation and formulate logical, potentially persuasive statements…While no one likes prices to go up, simply complaining about the increase in costs is unlikely to have an impact.

Then tonight Hubby told me he posted a comment – and he used a really good argument. So, like any good wife I’m stealing his idea. :-p Oh and I’ll share it with you…

If one wants to change the name on a Social Security Card, the cost is FREE.

To change your name on a driver’s license (in WA State) the cost is $10

To change a name on a Passport (within one year of issuance) the cost is FREE.

To change a name on the Certificate of Citizenship – the only document that satifies all requirements for proving US citizenship; a document only issued to foreign born US citizens — the cost is $380…

This *huge* discrepency shows clear discrimination against our children. How can it possibly cost almost $400 to print a piece of paper? Our kids are American citizens… and we are taxpayers. If anything, USCIS should be lowering the cost not raising it by $160!
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This same type of discrimination is being played out in the I600a and fingerprinting fees. Probably half of all international adoptions these days take two years from start to finish. With the I600a expiring in 18 months and the fingerprints expiring after only 15 months, that means many PAP’s will have to pay those fees twice. That means it’s not $125 increase for the I600a, but really a $250 increase. And the fingerprints will cost people $160, not just $80. (the whole re-fingerprinting makes no sense to me to begin with, but that’s another issue, I suppose). The result of these exhorbatant fees is the USCIS is in essence pressuring prospective adopters to chose the “faster” programs over those that may be more established and stable. And why should people be punished just because they have a longer wait?
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So there you go, two clear reasons why the USCIS fee increase is unreasonable. Now none of us has an excuse to put off submitting a comment. So, get to it! (And if you come up with another good reason, please share!)

I just got this on one of my yahoo lists and thought it was important info to share.  Even if you are personally done dealing with USCIS, these fee increases are just ridiculous.  Please, take a minute and go make a public comment.

Fees are increasing at USCIS, and there is very little time left to voice our objection.  The following is an outline on how the increase affects adoption and what we can do, as a group, to stop the increase.  Please feel free to forward this message to any agency, listserv, group or individual who can help to eliminate the fee increases affecting adoption.  We only have a week left to act on this.

Fee Increase Proposal
On February 1, 2007, USCIS published a Notice of Proposed Rule Making in the Federal Register that would substantially raise filing fees for most types of cases.  If the proposed rule is adopted, filing fees would increase by an average of 66% over current fees.  The proposed rule is subject to a 60-day comment period that ends on April 2, 2007.  At the end of the comment period, USCIS will review and consider the comments it has received on its proposed rule.  USCIS will then send its final proposal to the Office of Management and Budget for review.  The OMB will make a final decision on the fee increase and issue the final rule

Fortunately, the “adjusted” fees will not take effect until the public has an opportunity to comment. The comment period is 60 days beginning February 1, 2007, and ending on April 2, 2007.  The increase in fees should not become effective until June 2007 at the earliest.

Adoption-Related Petitions Affected by the Proposed Increase
I-600/600A Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative from $545 to $670
N-565 Application for Replacement of Certificate of Citizenship (used for name changes) from $220 to $380
N-600 Application for Certificate of Citizenship from $255 to $460
Biometric Services (fingerprints) from $70 to $80

Submit Your Comments to USCIS by April 2, 2007
Anyone may comment on the proposed regulation. Those interested in commenting should take time to review the proposed regulation and formulate logical, potentially persuasive statements. Comments will be made public, as they will be posted as submitted at www.regulations.gov. One should NOT include any personal detail unless s/he is willing to share it freely. While no one likes prices to go up, simply complaining about the increase in costs is unlikely to have an impact.

Comments must be received by April 2, 2007, and must reference the agency name (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services), as well as the docket number (USCIS-2006-0044). Comments may be submitted at http://www.regulations.gov/fdmspublic/component/main, the Federal eRulemaking Portal, or via mail or courier, in hardcopy, disk, or CD-ROM form to:

Director, Management Division
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services
Department of Homeland Security
111 Massachusetts Avenue, NW, 3rd Floor
Washington D.C. 20529

Voicing your opinion makes you part of the democratic process, and this is how the U.S. government and legal systems are supposed to work. Although most of us hesitate to publicly comment, the government really does carefully consider the content of comments, as well as the sheer number of those responding. When USCIS introduced regulations to reduce the time for B-2 tourist visits from six months to 30 days, for example, there were more than 10,000 comments. That convinced the USCIS to shelve the proposal. Remember, the key is the QUANTITY of responses they get. It should not be difficult to get at least 10,000 of us to comment. Please take the time today to do this.

Together, we CAN make a difference!*

* Written by: Patti Urban, Director of Development, New England, Reaching Out Thru International Adoption. This is not an endorsement of Reaching Out or Patti Urban, just passing along vital information