It did not go well.  In fact, it was awful.  Aw.ful.

First, I didn’t have time (or rather, I completely forgot in my rush to get out the door) this morning to brush Zeeb’s teeth. Oops. So he had the overnight ick on his teeth. I had him drinking water and didn’t let him snack, but of course he did eat breakfast. So that was a bad start right there. But when the hygenist laid him down and took out her scraper tool and scraped a ton of plaque off one of his top back teeth, I knew that wasn’t all from one day.

It just got worse from there. Because Zeeb very quickly decided he did not like the lady putting things in his mouth and asking him where it hurt. And a quick trip to the next room for x-rays didn’t help much either.  So he started to cry. Well she gets all stern with him and says, “Zeeb, if you cry I won’t know when it really hurts.” And I’m thinking, “lady, he hasn’t a clue what you are saying!” but honestly I have no clue how much english Zeeb understands at this point, so I didn’t want to be all like “He doesn’t speak english” because clearly he does - he was saying “no” and “ow” and other things she understood perfectly well. So I was trying to repeat what she said in a way I thought he’d understand. “Zeeb, stop crying. She is not hurting you. You need to show her where your teeth hurt.” But he was too freaked out and would not calm down. So then she sits him up and turns him so his back is to me and she’s saying very sterning, “Zeeb, look me in the eye. You need to stop crying now.” And this is getting me upset but I think he can understand her and maybe it will work and I don’t want to be one of those moms who gets in the way and makes things harder. So I’m sitting there but Zeeb is crying more and more and then he does this thing where he starts coughing. Well, I’ve seen him do this many times before and I know he ends up gagging himself and practically puking if you don’t stop the crying/coughing cycle. And the way that works is just to put my hand on his mouth and sternly say “Stop.” It sort of snaps him out of it. So I try that. And apparently the hygenist lady did not approve. Because then she says, “I need you to leave now so I can talk to Zeeb.” And I know this is the office’s policy, that sometimes parents need to leave so the child will recognize that the denist (or hygenist) is the authority and they need to focus on what she is saying. But all I can think is This is my little boy who is still learning to attach to me and you are telling me to leave him with a stranger! But he’s been with us for more than 5 months now so I figure it might be okay. But I’m also worried that Zeeb really doesn’t understand. So before I leave the room I say, “He’s only been home for 5 months so he might not understand everything you are saying.” And I go out into the hall. And I can hear him screaming and crying and it is killing me to leave him like that and I am totally second guessing myself wondering if I just did huge damage to our attachment and if I should just storm back in there and say “I can not leave him alone”. But I am such a total people-pleaser, I just stay in the hall trying really hard not to cry. Then the dentist goes in and the hygenist tells me I can watch from the widow (I totally wasn’t looking in before because I didn’t want him to see me and get more upset). And they talk to him for a while and then he lays down and lets the dentist look at his teeth. And then finally they call me back in.

The dentist says he has an ulcer in his mouth. I did not even know one could get an ulcer in their mouth. Basically I guess his gums are really inflamed and in a couple of areas there’s actually like a cold sore on the gums. She says the best thing we can do is keep his mouth clean. Oh yeah, that will be easy.

Here’s the thing - the boy has this freaky way of clamping down his lips — not his teeth, his lips — and making it next to impossible to brush his gums. Last time I told them this they said to lay him down to brush. Okay well that’s just not the most practical thing to do so we don’t do it very often. Sometimes I’ll lean him back on my arm so his mouth has to relax and open more, but honestly the thought of laying him down and scrubbing at his teeth sounded a little nuts. But I was making a real effort to get to every area of his mouth, lifting up his lips if I had to and that kind of thing. Apparently it wasn’t really working. So between that and the fact that the crowns made his gums swell to begin with (which made them hurt, which made him clamp those lips down more when I brushed…) now he has totally messed up gums. So now I have to really lay him down for every teeth brushing, plus do a second gentle brushing with Crest dental clean stuff. To help with the inflamed gums, they said to have him swish with salt water (he can do that without swallowing the water) and keep him on Motrin for 3 days.

The thing that killed me is the hygenist is telling me how I have to lay him down and then she’s like “see, his mouth is very relaxed and he’s letting me brush.” And I’m thinking, yeah sure now he’s all passive because you made him cry for 15 minutes straight! He was doing that shuddering breathing and everything. And it’s not like I have a dentist chair at home. If I lay him on the couch or a bed it’s not going to be that easy to get all the angles and everything like she did. Plus the fun of toothpaste drool everywhere… blech. yeah, you can tell I’m really excited at the prospect of this. But dang it, the boy needs to have a clean mouth so I will do whatever I have to do. I just can’t promise I’ll like it.

The good news is, even though he was rather traumatized by the whole thing, he still likes me. He was kind of upset for a few minutes after we left the dentist, but then he was right back to his normal happy self. Thank God.