Zeeb has been with us for six full months.  This is a big deal.  Almost too big of a deal, really.  I have told myself many times not to even evaluate how well we are all doing until he’s been home at least six months.  Of course I never listen to myself and I’ve analyzed and evaluated his adjustment and the bonding and all of that practically to death.  And now that we’re at the six month mark I laugh at myself in that way that people who have lived longer and seen more tend to do and say to myself, “what were you thinking?  Six months is not long enough to expect everything to be settled and perfect and easy!”

Well, Self, we have made quite a bit of progress in the last six months. Zeeb is speaking so much English now – and even people outside our family can understand some of what he says. And he is settled in, in a way that’s hard to describe but everyone remarks about. And we have made lots of memories together, as a family. “Mom”, he says to me, “go Legoland more.” and I say, “Yes, Legoland was a lot of fun. We’ll have to go again sometime.” And it makes me happy that we have a family vacation memory to share. And this morning when I woke him up for church he didn’t make the sad/grumpy face he usually makes when he wakes, or cry like he often does. This time as I gently kissed him he put his arms around my neck and said “mommy.” And maybe he’ll be back to being a morning grump tomorrow but it felt good nonetheless.

It’s been a hard six months. But then, it may have been a hard six months even if we hadn’t adopted Zeeb. K~ is at a very difficult age and middle school has been an unparalleled challenge for both of us. And the fall/winter we just had was enough to inspire our neighbors to buy land on the other side of the mountains. But adding a fourth kid sure does make for some new family dynamics. Being a fourth child myself, I never thought four kids was such a big deal.  It is. Everywhere we go, I feel like we bring our own little crowd. It’s hard to be inconspicuous when you have four kids surrounding you. The din at the dinner table has gone up a notch. Bedtime takes longer. And all the kids have complained they get less mommy cuddle time than they used to.

But there’s a lot of good things about four kids too. R~ always has a buddy to play with now. K~ and A~ were always pretty good about playing with her, but sometimes they want to do older-kid things and that was hard for her. But Zeeb always wants to play with R~. And he even lets her boss him around a bit. Zeeb seems to bring out the best in all of my kids. K~ and A~ are more responsible and often do things for Zeeb without being asked. And when they get together to play, the four of them come up with all kinds of fun adventures.

I don’t know if we’re there yet… the day where I stand back and say we have all bonded and attached perfectly and I can’t remember or imagine life without Zeeb. But we sure have made a lot of progress in the last six months.