Right now, as I type, Hubby is on an airplane headed for northern Virginia. (Ok, technically Baltimore, but then he’ll drive to Virginia) This was sort of a last-minute trip. He’d been talking to one company about flying out for an interview and so had cleared his schedule. And then he realized the job wasn’t right for him, so thus no need for an interview. But then he figured, the schedule’s clear, might as well fly out anyway just to check out the area. Plus his current company has some smaller offices over there and he can “informally” meet with them. (To make it “formal” he’d have to tell his boss, which would make things rather awkward should he decide not to move!) So with about two days notice he booked flights and hotels and off he went.
And this is why I love my husband so very much.
Because, he doesn’t need to do this. In fact, it’s rather a bother to do it right now. Work is busy and picking up steam and he quite likes it too. But both of us have this sense that we can’t stay where we are. We could move locally (and very well might) but that would only solve the school problem, not the weather problem or the fact that we’re an expensive flight away from most of our family. So we think Virginia may be where its at. Except there’s the minor problem of no actual perfect job lined up and no idea if it’s the kind of place we’d really like to live. We’ve been praying for months and months and honestly, the waiting is getting to both of us. Add to that the stress of feeling torn between a fast-paced project at work and job hunting and I think Hubby decided it was time to take action. I love that about him. That he’ll do whatever he can to make things better for us, even though it’d be a lot easier to just sit back and do nothing. I mean let’s face it, he could make a total half-hearted effort at job-hunting and just tell me there’s nothing more he can do. I wouldn’t think less of him if he did. Or he could just tell me there’s no way he’s leaving his job now. Things are too good. It’s like doing three years of college and then deciding to switch schools. (Oh wait, he changed college’s for me too… wow, he really is a sacrificial guy!)
I just finished reading Francine Rivers’ “The Warrior”, her novella about Caleb. For those who aren’t familiar with Caleb, he followed Moses out to the desert and was one of 20 scouts sent to check out the Promise Land. While 18 of the scouts came back and said the land of Canaan was too dangerous - there were giants there, dontcha’ know - Caleb and Joshua reported that the land was flowing with milk and honey and they believed God would give it to them, despite the scary obstacles in their way. Well, obviously Virginia is not THE “promise land”… but it might be ours. And so I know its rather a weak metaphor but books always hugely influence my thinking so I’ve been imagining Hubby as my very own modern-day “scout”. And in a way, he is. We found a bunch of houses online that looked good and mapped them out so Hubby can drive around the neighborhoods and get a feel for the areas where we’d actually live. And of course he’s talking to people there about possible jobs, so that part is covered too.
It’s a little weird, sitting here while he goes and looks the place over. I mean we don’t always agree on things - furniture shopping for instance often includes a bit of give and take. But I feel good about this. I’m praying, and I know he’ll be praying while he’s there and I trust God to give him a sense of direction in this whole thing. So if he comes home and says, “Nope, it’s not for us.” - well then, okay. We gave it a shot, and now we can move on. And if he comes back and says, “I think we belong in Virginia” - then I will feel really good about that decision, because when it comes down to it, he’s the one who will really have to sacrifice if we move. I have this thing about marriage - I never want my husband to do something *just* because I think we should. I worry he might resent me later and it would harm our relationship. (Plus, and I know this is so not politically correct, but I really think the husband is the head of the household and should make the major decisions - with input from the family of course - but in the end, the ultimate responsibility rests with him). So, if he comes back excited to move to Virginia, I’ll be able to trust that it’s the best thing for our whole family. Either way, when he gets back, (God-willing) the cloud of indecision will be lifted and we can go from there.
And I just think it’s so cool, being married to someone who can do that for me. ![]()
March 15, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Virginia is great. We’re thinking of moving there too, from Baltimore. Most of our friends live there. Beware of sticker shock on home prices, but other than that, and traffic, it’s great. I’d move there in a heartbeat. BEST of luck to you, no matter what you decide.
March 15, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I know exactly what you meant with the whole “head of the house” thing, but it is hard to get the point across to others. I hope that when he comes back you’ll both know exactly where this new road is leading you
I kinda like Virginia myself.
March 15, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Wow! Big news! And also does he give lessons? Maybe if you move and he still has no job he can sideline as a Husband Coach?!?! You are very blessed. I really hope Virginia pans out or at least you get some clarity on it. I think you might!
March 16, 2008 at 2:51 pm
That is totally cool. (that sounded so 80s didn’t it?!) And if you’re not P.C. then I am as well, and well, quite frankly I being PC is not all that it’s cracked up to be. I just wish more women could understand the freedom that comes from LETTING someone else be the head of the household. (Of course there are times I wish he would just get out of the way so I could make the decision and move on…but I’ll save that post for another day. :>)
March 17, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I just came across your blog via another blog. I just want to day that NOVA (Northern VA) is a great place to live. I have lived all over because I was a military brat but this has to be one of the best places to call home. There is so much to do here & I love it. :o) Good Luck with everything and hope you can make the move!
March 17, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I hope that the Virginia trip goes well! I can’t wait until a couple of years from now and we’ll be able to start looking at moving East.
March 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Wow, how exciting. I hope he has a safe trip and comes home with some good news!
By the way, it’s too funny you mentioned furniture shopping. I swear we almost divorced over buying our first couch as a couple, many years back. Now days he knows to leave interior decorating decisions to me…as long as they fit within his budget.
ha ha
March 19, 2008 at 8:48 am
Goodluck with your decision. For us it was a no brainer….we live in NJ.
When my husband was offered the position, I was jumping up and down with the joy at prospect of moving. Everyone I have come in contact with has only said positive things about the area. Make sure hubby takes a ride through the mountains. It’s beautiful. Maryland is mostly flat like NJ from what my husband reports. He is in Baltimore today for meetings.
Just locked our interest rate! SO EXCITED!
~Michelle
April 7, 2008 at 3:53 pm
[...] about it so that would be sort of mean to do a happy dance in front of them. It turns out that Hubby’s scouting trip back in March is paying off now. One of the people he met with “informally” later set [...]