I am really tired tonight. Which is weird seeing as how it’s summer and I can sleep as much as I want. What’s with that?
Last night Hubby and I went out on a date. Because K told us to. I don’t know how long this sending-her-parents on dates phase is going to last, but I really like it. We didn’t do anything super exciting, just Olive Garden and then some shopping. (There hasn’t been a good movie out in months. I think the last good one was Star Trek. The Proposal was pretty good too, except the one scene, with that one guy… just ick. They really should have edited that out.)
One of the places we shopped was a jewelry store. Because I’ve recently decided I need a more substantial ring. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wedding ring, it has huge sentimental value. But it’s, um, kind of small. Let’s put it this way, back when we got engaged, a woman I worked with told me my diamond was “delicate”. Said in the same tone people use when they call a really ugly baby Darling. We were dirt-poor college students and I really didn’t care how big the diamond was, I was young and in love and besides I have very small fingers. The wedding band went with the engagement ring, in a sort of supporting role. About five years ago, I lost the engagement ring. I still feel really bad about it. I was away with my friends for a girl’s weekend and when we packed up the car I realized it was missing. I imagine it fell into some dark corner of the hotel room. Probably someone from housekeeping found it. So anyway, I no longer have the diamond ring, I just have the band. It looks rather sad and lonely all on its own. Most of the time I don’t care. I’m not a big jewelry person and even my little diamond used to be kind of pokey and annoying. Plus I figure we have a zillion other things to be spending our money on. And there’s all those starving people and whatnot. But, lately, I’ve been wishing for just a little tiny bit of bling upon my finger. So I’ve been dragging Hubby to jewelry stores. Because I’m subtle like that.
The first store we went to last month was at the mall. Oy was that a mistake. Very snobby saleslady, very expensive rings. And then I committed a cardinal sin. I asked if they had any lab-created diamonds. (I read about such things in Hubby’s wired magazine a couple of years ago. I really like the idea that no one would have to suffer or die just so I can have some shiny bling.) Another saleslady overheard and looked at me with Utter Disdain. “You mean Diamonique?” (or y’know, some cheesy fakey glass-jewel sounding word like that). And I said, “No, they’re real diamonds, but they are made in a lab instead of dug out of the ground.”
“Those are not real diamonds,” she sneered (in a pretentious kind of way, not a freaky Batman-badguy kind of way.)
“Oh” I say, “Well, can you tell me where these diamonds came from?”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the equivalent of lighting up my bra in the middle of their store. Egads did I set those people off. The store manager/owner guy came over and gave me this long spiel about how no one’s hands were cut off for these diamonds (Eeew. Had not even thought of that, thankyouverymuch.) They were all certified as “conflict free” – though he had no idea *where* any particular diamond came from. Blah blah blah. I quickly stuttered something about not meaning to offend and I was really just curious and then we high-tailed it out of there as fast as we could. Suddenly my “delicate” ring didn’t look so bad.
Last night we went to a chain store located away from the mall a bit, where the prices are more reasonable and the salespeople a lot less snobbish. And I didn’t say one word about those faux diamonds that are actually real. All in all it was a much better experience. And I even found a ring I liked.
I prefer rings that have some personality to them – a little bit of a vintage look. But also they have to be somewhat dainty because I’m not kidding, I really do have small fingers. Size 4 1/2. (And also they’re kind of stubby fingers, not nice and long and sophisticated at all.) The one I liked was a three stone “anniversary” ring. It had a little bit of scrolling kind of detail on the sides and the diamonds were set up a little so the light could shine under and through them. Those jewelry store lights make the rings look soooo sparkly. Kind of mesmerizes you and makes you want to say “I’ll take it” on the spot. But my willpower was strong. I had the lady write down all the info and give it to Hubby. Because as modern and hip as I am, I still think of jewelry as a gift the husband buys for his wife. Bonus points if it’s a suprise. (“Surprise” being a rather loose term in this instance, clearly.)
My wedding band is yellow gold, and the ring I picked out is platinum. So obviously I wouldn’t wear them both together. Would that be weird, to just wear the anniversary band? Would it look like I’m not actually married? And is it sacrilegious not to wear the ring my husband put on my finger on our wedding day? Oh the conundrums and angst!
So I was going to babble on about the other shopping we did (appliances) and about R’s private gymnastics lessons but this is getting long and like I said before, I’m tired. So let’s save that stuff for another day, okay?
*A quote from The Princess Bride. But then, you probably guessed that.
August 5, 2009 at 11:01 pm
I knew we had so much in common, another 4.5er here… actually I think my engagement ring is a 4…
How fun!
August 5, 2009 at 11:14 pm
fyi, my engagement ring is one of those three stone past, present future rings, and my wedding ring is an anniversary band. so, you can do whatever it is you want
i did!
August 5, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Maybe consider wearing your wedding band on your right hand. I love my engagement ring, but never liked my wedding band. The one we had made to “match” my diamond looked more like a steel washer than a ring. However, we didn’t see it until a week before the wedding so we had no choice but to run out to Fred Meyer and buy a very plain gold band. It did the trick but did not compliment my diamond in any way. I finally found one I did like that Danny “surprised” me with on our 5th anniversary, but like you, didn’t want to NOT wear my actual band. So it now sits on my right ring finger. I have a ring I love, and a ring that reminds me of the man that I love.
August 6, 2009 at 7:57 am
I have stubby fingers, too, but mine are fat. Like a 7 or 8 or something. Anyway, I’ve been scoping out rings on Overstock.com lately. They have lots of simulated diamonds (mostly just cubic zirconia, though) and some of them look really nice. But I actually love my engagement/ wedding ring (it’s all the same thing, but sometimes I wear some very small anniversary bands with it) except that it is yellow gold, and I’d prefer white gold. But? Not something worth me complaining about, really. So I just scope out the rings for no good reason, is what I’m saying. Anyway, you can get some serious bling over there for real cheap. Not necessarily quality bling, but I did buy a (non wedding) ring from them once, and it does look *very* nice even though it’s a big ol’ fake.
August 6, 2009 at 10:53 am
Nothing as fun as bling shopping. I am sorry about your mall experience. Good for you for asking.
My original wedding set was lost (well they said “stolen”) when I took it into a jewelry store a few years back for some work. So my entire set is a replacement set that we shopped for and replaced using the money the Jewelry Store gave us for losing my ring. I do love it, even though it bums me out to not have the original ring my husband proposed with and my original wedding band.
You could totally wear the three stone ring on its own. Another tip – try overstock dot com – they have some gorgeous wedding jewelry. Are you going to share pics?
August 6, 2009 at 11:04 am
I tend to just wear my engagement ring most of the time, since my skin does this weird rash/peeling thing if I stack my rings when I’m pregnant and I spend *so much time* pregnant. I don’t really worry if other people think I’m not really married–if they don’t know me, who cares what they think?
If you don’t get that ring, look for a small, non-chain jewelery shop with a certified gemologist. They tend to be way cheaper than the chains and you can get much better quality. If you find a bench jeweler, you can even design your own ring. Also, another option (that might also get you dirty looks, depending on the jeweler), is something like a Yehuda diamond–one where they drill out an imperfection and fill it with a synthetic substance. Even under a jeweler’s scope, it is hard to see where it has been altered, but the cost is significantly less.
August 6, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Just an FYI, I wear my anniversary ring as my only wedding ring all the time. I got it for our tenth anniversary and my engagement ring had lost a prong. (I still haven’t gotten that fixed, like 7 years later!) Anyway, my original band is yellow gold and my anniversary ring is platinum, so I did just what you were thinking of. No one ever mistakes me as not married.
I have to agree with Katie, if you don’t get that ring, go to a more local place with a gemologist.
August 6, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Oh, yeah, I was also going to say that if you buy a ring, the paperwork should tell you where the diamond is from if it’s a certified diamond or whatever.
August 6, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I think it’s so awesome that you found yourself a new ‘engagement’ ring! Congrats! Three stone rings are gorgeous.
As far as the metal dilemma goes, I would suggest one of two things. One, you could wear the rings on different fingers, as was suggested above. Or two, you could get a simple platinum wedding band to go with your new e-ring. I would recommend the latter… you can always keep your original wedding band for its symbolic significance (and maybe wear it on a necklace or something?), but considering the budget constraints when it was purchased, I think it’s totally acceptable to upgrade! Lots of people who marry young do, and your new platinum wedding set will last for the rest of your life… no more upgrades necessary. Plus, platinum is a lot cheaper right now than it has been in a long time, so you can look at it as an investment
.
August 6, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Oooh I love Laura’s idea of wearing your original band in some way – other hand, around your neck, etc. I had all this sentimentality attached to mine so it was a blessing when it basically fell apart (mine was total junk from Sears of all places – it literally cost us like $200 for the SET (his and mine) – classy
But I have sentimental attachments to many things I probably shouldn’t. Still it would be nice to have on hand (har har) for sentimental reasons.
December 25, 2009 at 11:44 am
[...] ps… I got the ring! [...]
February 24, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Sorry you had a snotty experiance. I am a custom bench jeweler myself and Totally despise arrogance in my trade.Look for a good local jeweler in a small family owned store who’s happy to sell you what ever you want. Don’t buy fracture filled for a wedding ring.Rings take a lot of abuse in daily wear and fracture filled can not tolerate common cleaning and repair procedures. Get the best quality you can afford. smaller well cut stones that are white can actually look larger.I personnally could care less about confict diamond issues, We regulate as best we can but stuff will always get through, and get certified.”Certified conflict free” seems like a band aid on a fatal wound to me. The rich and/or powerful keep the downtrodden down in this country too, with poverty and early death being the same result. Conflict diamonds are a sypmtom not a disease.By the way almost all gold is “green” Jewelers have been saveing and refineing material since they started working with it. Very little jewelry is made with freshly mined gold and most all jewelry has gold in in that was once pillaged from ancient peoples like the Aztecs ect…If you want it buy it ,and direct your energy twords resolveing the true issues that caused it in the first place.Polatics,power and imbalanced distribution of wealth and resources worldwide. By the way have you ever considered a durable colored stone center like Saphire or ruby with dimonds on the side?