Mondays aren’t all that bad, really.
June 4, 2007 
It’s a strange thing for me to realize and admit, but I kind of like Mondays. I’m not in love with the waking up super early part or the crazy afternoon homework part; but the part where 3 of 4 kids are at school and the house is quiet (save for the sound of Dora going on yet another quest)… that part I like. And it occurs to me, I should probably savor these last three weeks of school instead of counting down like I have been.
But there’s the conundrum… because I am so done with homework time. And last week when we had 75-80 degrees every day it felt ridiculous to send the kids off to school. And I’m quite sick of all our school year routines and schedules. Bring on the Lazy Hazy, I say.
That is, until this weekend, when the perfect storm of kids wanting mommy in 4 directions at once and not listening and sitting there not eating lunch no matter how many times I said, “Zeeb, take a bite!” really got to me and I had to give myself a time-out upstairs in my room. And I sat there, on the floor with the fan blowing on me, thinking, Holy Cow am I in trouble this summer.
But then we hit naptime and the older kids finished their chores (finally!) and went to the neighbors for a swim and I got an entire hour to sit outside in the sunshine and read the paper and all was good again. So, I’m back to Bring on The Lazy Hazy… y’know, as long as there’s lots of naptimes and the kids go to the neighbors house really often. 
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I neglected to note last week that the Adoption Blogpost Round Up round-up is Up. (Say that 3 times fast!) So head on over to ::Adventures in Daily Living:: and check it out… there’s a great variety of posts and viewpoints representing both domestic and international adoptions. (and a bunch from fellow VN adopters!)
May 20, 2007 
tired rambling thoughts on motherhood
May 14, 2007 
Here’s the thing about having four kids – there’s always something.
*Two meetings last week about the (lack of) honors programs at K~’s middle school. Plus additional research time as we parents attempt to put together a compelling argument for some serious changes, hopefully soon enough to make a difference for our kids.
*K~’s ‘disorder’ has gotten to the point where she wants to make changes; she is making sincere effort to overcome it and I am so proud of her. But in the meantime, she is getting more and more self-conscious and aware of what other kids are saying/thinking. Middle school is tough enough without this — I would do anything to make it go away. It’s so hard knowing it really isn’t within my power.
*R~ continues to talk about Cambodia and her Cambodia mom and dad. The other night she said Cambodia was “home” and that she wanted her Cambodia mom and dad. In that context, it felt like she was pushing my buttons more than expressing a sincere heartfelt desire. But then, I know she really is trying to come to terms with her beginnings too. This is a lot harder than I expected it to be.
*Last night when I was spending extra quality time with K~, my ten year old A~ came downstairs and asked when he gets a turn for special time. I take for granted how low-maintance my boy can be. He needs mommy time too. Now if only I could find a way to clone myself…
*Zeeb’s been crying more lately. Over weird things, like not wanting to eat his cereal or because R~ doesn’t want to play with him at that particular moment. And I’m not being very understanding. My first reaction is usually to tell him to get a grip. And then I look at his little face, his eyes looking sad and kind of lost, and I feel so bad. He has done such an amazing job of adjusting to his new life I forget he’s only been with us for six months and maybe from time to time things just get too frustrating or overwhelming. And oh yeah he’s not quite four years old. Definitely need to spend more time cuddling with him this week.
All this stuff piles up and I just get so tired. Like too tired to even read blogs. But then my husband gave me a really sweet gift for Mother’s Day – he folded and put away six loads of laundry. What a tangible way to show me love. It made me feel like for once I wasn’t starting the week overloaded and trying to play catch up. Better than flowers, I tell ya.
And an extra bonus today… the coffee table from pottery barn that was on backorder came in and hubby brought it home tonight. I love me my pottery barn coffee table.
umm… the rest of the family room doesn’t look that decorator-perfect… but go with it. The coffee table turned out to be bigger than we expected so we had to do some creative decorating this evening… but even that turned out okay because now hubby is willing to consider a new couch (I’ve been pestering him for a year, our current sectional is battered and worn and just plain sad) so see – silver lining.
And just when I start feeling stuck, mired in the day to day of parenting four kids ages 3-11… I see a commercial like this that gets me all choked up and makes me want to go hug and kiss them all and just stare at them sleeping, memorizing the way they are this minute because they just grow up so fast…
may madness
Ah, doesn’t that look so relaxing? The weather was amazing yesterday and we were hanging out at K~’s track meet on a little hillside of grass on the other side of the fence from all the activity. Let’s just say little kids and sitting still on bleachers don’t really go together. I get frustrated trying to entertain R~ and Zeeb at sporting events and concerts and all the things the older kids do; it would be so much easier to be at home, getting things done while the kids play in the back yard. But the weather was amazing, the nicest day we’ve had all year. So I let the kids run around a little and took a zillion pictures of them just for the fun of it. Really I should be thankful for times like that when I’m forced to kick back and do nothing for a while. (Ha, remind me I said that this afternoon when I’m entertaining the boys while R~ has Tae Kwon Do lessons.)
I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly May is turning into a crazy month. I have someplace to be every single evening this week. I’m a total homebody, I don’t like running around all afternoon and evening, but it can’t be helped this week. Tonight I’m going to a school board meeting. I know, doesn’t that sound important? The board is supposed to be focusing on “Special Services” (of which the program for the academically talented is one) and the hope is the Middle School will get some discussion. I’m not in the least prepared to speak or anything, but I’m hoping just the presence of parents who care will make some sort of difference. Yes, I’m that naive. Which is especially pathetic considering last week’s after school meeting. The middle school principal who was to be the main speaker of the day bailed on about 24 hours notice and sent the assistant superintendent in her place. I’m guessing he was not too happy with her about that, especially when he realized that the 20 or so parents in the room were not going to sit there quietly nodding our heads while he went on and on about how wonderful the middle school is and all the great “opportunities” there are for gifted students. puh-leeze. I confess, my hand went up a number of times. In that setting I had no problem saying, “uh, my daughter doesn’t have time to do the extra “honors” work on her own because she has so much busywork from her regular classes.” (yeah, I think I may have even used that word) A few other parents said their kids have been so bored and/or frustrated that their grades are really slipping. His response? “Oh I should really let the Principal respond to that.” Yeah, that’d be good. If only she were at the meeting! There were a few good things that came out of the meeting: (1) The assistant super is now aware that we are not all happy campers (2) He told us about the board meeting tonight. (heh, I hope he warned the board there might be 20 unhappy campers in attendence!) (3) All of us parents were finally in the same room to talk about this stuff. And one of the moms (a total organizer/go-getter, love those types, wish I were one) organized a parent meeting for this Friday. We’re going to get together and put together some kind of game plan. I love game plans. I hope this actually goes somewhere and isn’t just a bunch of meetings that lead to nothing. I so don’t have time for pointless meetings.
On top of the very full to-do list, my kids are throwing me new curve balls every day. K~… well, okay, she hasn’t invented any “new” curve balls this week but she does seem to be in rare form lately. The Disorder is back in full force… though she seems more open to trying to deal with it. I called a therapist yesterday and left a voicemail. Haven’t told K~ yet though. I might not tell her until the day of the appointment, just so she doesn’t have time to get all stressed about it. And in general K~ is just rather cranky these days. The girl has taken talking back to a whole new level. I need to find a way to deal with it better before it becomes a set pattern for both of us.
R~’s comment about her birthmom was actually just the start. Now she’s talking about her birthmom, birth”daddy” (she never used to use that word in reference to her birthdad) and the numerous birth brothers and sisters she is absolutely positive she has. I know this is very normal for her age but it has taken me a little off guard. Yesterday she told me that a friend at school gave her a little jewel (plastic) and it made her think of her birthmother…and she was telling the friend about her birthmom and birth sisters. On the one hand, I think it’s great that she is able to talk about these things and is not ashamed of her birth history or anything like that. But on the other hand I’m worried that when she’s older she’ll regret telling intimate details to a kindergarten friend (who may blab it all over school or use it to hurt her). That’s one of the hardest things about parenting for me, realizing how little control I really have over what happens to my kids. I can’t put her in a little bubble and protect her from the sadness she feels about her birthmother or keep other kids from teasing her. I wish I could though. Last night at bedtime R~ asked me what Cambodia is like. Weird how unprepared I felt for even that question. I didn’t know how to approach it… tell her how beautiful it is (perhaps causing her to think of it as a perfect fairytale place) or tell her about the poverty and less positive side of her birth country (realistic, but it seems too harsh to tell a 5 year old). So I just sort of told her a few random things and then told her that we are going to Cambodian heritage camp this summer and she will learn a lot there and be with other kids were were born in Cambodia. She was really excited about that. I’m so glad we’re able to go this year. In the meantime, I need to get my hands on some good Cambodia DVDs and dig out all our books about Cambodia. Clearly my memories from 5+ years ago distilled through my protective mommy filter aren’t doing an adequate job for R~.
As for the boys, well, they are certainly a lot less “high maintainance” than their sisters, that’s for sure. But A~ has a science fair project due Thursday that is not that close to done (and did I mention we’ll be out all this afternoon? And he’s supposed to go to AWANA tomorrow evening?!) so I’m stressed about that. And Zeeb… well, have I mentioned what a great kid he is lately? Seriously, people keep commenting on how well-behaved he is and how he just fits right in with our family. And it’s totally true. His english vocabulary continues to expand, although some of his words are a little hard to translate. (“hup” for cup, “nabtime” for bathtime, a word I can’t even phonetically spell for helicopter…) And man are Zeeb and R~ cute when they play together. The other day they were looking for bugs and then R~ was looking them up in her giant Bug book. She just loves having someone who thinks she is smart and grown-up and he loves having a buddy to show him all the mysteries of the back yard.
That’s the good thing about four kids… one or two of them may be pushing me to my parental limits and abilities but then there’s another one or two making me feel like I’m doing a great job.
of cats and kids
I knew Penny wasn’t her normal, happy fluffy self. But I didn’t really think anything of it. She’s our sweet six year old semi-reclusive cat so it takes a while to notice if anything is different. Then add to that all the busyness and stress of the last three months and really she’s lucky I even remember her name. Earlier in the fall we discovered that our collie had fleas. We keep her on that Advantix type stuff but usually only do it every three months and apparently that wasn’t often enough for these fleas. So we gave her another dose before we went to Vietnam and then dismissed the fleas from our mind. Until my stepmom (who was staying here with the kids) noticed the cats all had fleas. Ooops. No problem, we keep a couple boxes of the cheaper, grocery store Hartz version of the flea stuff on hand… completely clueless to the fact that the EPA has pulled the stuff from the shelves. (Though I could swear there is still some cheap version of the Advantix stuff you can get at the store… maybe another formula?) Anyway, I digress. So my step-mom dosed the cats with the cheap stuff while we were in Vietnam. When we got home, I noticed Penny had flea bites,but I figured they were left over from before the flea drops and they’d go away soon. And since Penny’s new favorite place to hang out is under the couch in the playroom, I really didn’t see enough of her to know any different. Until Christmas Eve. That day she suddenly decided to come out of hiding and wander into our room… and I noticed that my sweet little kitty has no fur on her rear end. The poor baby had been biting herself senseless because the fleas were making her so nutty. I was freaking out and of course the vet was not open on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. No problem, I’ve got the internet! A couple of clicks later I’ve made her a very fashionable paper-plate version of the cone-collar thing that injured pets wear so she couldn’t bite herself any more. And sprayed her whole bald rear end with Bactine. She didn’t like that part very much. And on Tuesday when the vet opened back up, in we went for a nice shot of cortizone (to take away the itching and help heal the bites) and enough Advantix to treat all four cats and the dog. Problem solved. Still feeling a little guilty about how bad I’ve been neglecting my cat, but at least we got her taken care of before she got really sick or anything. (and by the way, our vet said he’s had like 5 cats come in with convulsions from the Hartz drops and one died… yikes, we were lucky that didn’t happen to her!)
But wait, just as I’m doing good and have everything under control, my daughter R~ tells me I need to come into the bathroom and check out R~’s ‘hiney because it’s bleeding. BLEEDING. And she wasn’t kidding. Little drops of blood when I wiped her. I was freaking out, trying to figure out how she got hurt down there, asking her all kinds of questions (because I have watched waaaay too many after-school specials and I know the kinds of questions to ask!). And then I remember that the other night R~ woke up crying and saying her ‘hiney hurt. But people, it was like 3am and the girl gets constipated at the drop of a hat so I really didn’t think anything of it. Gave her some prune juice the next day and called it good. Well apparently she didn’t drink much of the juice or it didn’t do it’s job or something because she was still constipated. And also, she’s not so good about wiping. Sorry to be graphic, but R~ has a very bad habit of forgetting to wipe. I remind her every time I see her use the potty but there’s plenty of times when I’m not around. I think the combo of no wiping and constipation gave my five year old a very bad case of diaper rash. And I didn’t even notice until she calls me into the bathroom to show me she’s bleeding. So much for that Mother of The Year award. Once again, I went into Problem-Solving Mode: Gave her like four prunes, put neosporin on the wounds and A&D ointment on the rashy parts… and things are working better already, if you know what I mean.
I would just love it if I could be the kind of mom who catches these things – flea bites out of control, bad cases of constipation and not wiping – before they become huge traumatic deals. Perhaps I should make that my New Year’s resolution? Bet that’s one most people don’t make: “I’d like to do a better job with butt patrol this year”.
