Things Have Been So Crazy I’d Use A Drowning Metaphor If I Didn’t Hate Drowning Metaphors So Very Much.
December 9, 2009 
Ye GADS people the last few days have just been… OY!
Two seconds after I hit “publish” on Friday’s post the phone rang – the school calling to tell me R~ had a fever of 102.5 and could I pick her up? (And oh how fun it is to go into the clinic to pick up your kid only to get a judgemental condescending look from the nurse and a little lecture on When To Keep Your Kid Home From School. Yeah, because I’m just stupid enough to send my kid to school with a burning fever?! Uh NO, she developed the fever WHILE AT SCHOOL.)
So that cancelled out our Friday night plans. Which? Was really okay because I was tired and I just love having quiet Friday nights with my family especially when we get to watch A Christmas Story together. (ahem – note to self: That is a movie that really really NEEDS to be watched on the ClearPlay player because there are just a few too many words I really don’t want my 6 and 8 year olds hearing and/or repeating…) But it’s still a very funny movie. R~ especially loves the part at the end with the goose. Reminds her of our family story about a chicken dinner in Cambodia. 
The rest of the weekend was filled with lots of snow which really was lovely and a good exuse to stay home and put up the tree and all was good. Until Sunday night. At which point I found myself choking to death on snot. Which I think we can all agree is not a good way to go. Hubby quickly diagnosed me as having a sinus infection. I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those before. But he was right – Monday morning I went to the doctor, she agreed with him and prescribed antibiotics. Lovely things those. Freaky amazing how quickly they made me feel better.
And then yesterday morning K~ said she was too sick to go to school. I swear people it’s never ending around here. But K~ has been complaining of a sore throat, various aches and pains, congestion, occasional nausea, etc, for like weeks (off and on) so I said enough of this and took her to my doctor. Where she was diagnosed with… Allergies. Dude seriously? Allergies? In DECEMBER? But the doctor said she has like all the “classic” symptoms so we’re going with that. Claritin at bedtime and a nasal spray in the morning and hopefully she’ll be good as new. Of course while we were there the doctor spotted a mole on K~’s neck and declared that K~ needs to get it checked by a dermatologist AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. (said in a voice that says DOOM! DOOM!) Now, this mole? Has been around since K~ was very very little. And it exactly matches a mole that I have that has been around since I was very very little. So I think the chances of it being anything other than a beauty mark are approximately NIL. Possibly ZILCH, ZERO and NADA. But the doctor was adament and said it was “SUSPICIOUS” and so I, being the good dutiful obedient mommy that I am, made an appointment with the dermatologist. For the end of January. Apparently dermatologists are very popular doctors. What with their ability to erase zits and wrinkles and whatnot. Anyway, I don’t care it’s a while out because I know it’s a complete waste of a doctor visit anyway. Well, not a complete waste. If I like that doctor I’ll make an appointment for myself – I really should have all my various moles and whatnot looked at. It’s not like I haven’t gotten some whopper sunburns over the years. (My skin knows two tones : pale sickly white and blazing fire red. There is no in-between.)
So anyway, those are my excuses for my absence. Oh also there’s the school craziness and the homework craziness (OY OY AND DOUBLE OY) and the band concert (surprisingly enjoyable) and oh yeah writing a Christmas letter (ALMOST KILLED ME)… which I now need to go finish. The picture is done, the letter is done. The address lables? Not done. And almost as stressful to do as the picture and letter. Why do I do this every year? Because I like getting them. And this year? I swear I’m going to keep track of the cards we receive because I’m quite positive that I send out like twice as many Christmas cards as we get from others. Which means that there are a lot of people who very likely roll their eyes when they see my card arrive. “Oh brother, it’s the Broccoli’s again. Not another cheesy Christmas letter! I hate those!” And you know? I don’t especially want to elicit that type of response from my friends and family if at all possible. It makes me cringe just thinking about it. So I shall put it out of my mind and tell myself that EVERYONE likes a good Christmas letter. Why not? I sure do. Christmas letters harken back to a simpler time, when people wrote more than 140 character missives to one another. Sigh, I miss those days… (Not that I have ever kept to a 140 limit myself. Clearly I am not capable of such a thing. Thus why I have a BLOG and not a Twitter account. DUH.)
Okay the babbly is getting out of hand and I still have to get those Christmas letters into the mail…
7 Merry Quick Takes
December 4, 2009 
1. I’m finally starting to get in the Christmas Spirit. I don’t know why, but I’ve had a hard time switching gears after Thanksgiving. It hasn’t really felt all that Christmas-y here, what with freakishly warm 68 degree weather and all. But today I’m blaring my favorite Christmas CD’s (Mariah Carey and Amy Grant. A strange combo, yet both fun to sing along with) and putting up more decorations and suddenly it’s feeling a lot more like Christmas is just a few weeks away!
2. Also contributing to my newfound Christmas spirit – Toys R Us notified me this morning that the lego set that Zeeb has his heart set on was back in stock. Whew, was that a relief to see! Zeeb asked Santa for that specific set and I was in a bit of a panic trying to figure out how I’d explain that Santa let him down. (Also great? T R US is having a buy one get one half off sale on legos right now! Quick, go shop before they run out of everything!!)
3. Didn’t this week seem freakishly LONG and yet over in a flash at the very same time? I’m thinking it’s because we went from November to December right in the middle. That flip of the calendar threw me off my game. But I know it’s not just me because Hubby and the kids were all saying last night that it felt like it SHOULD be Friday.
4. So we cheated and did our Friday night tradition on Thursday. Pizza and a movie. But a short movie because it was a school night after all. Our pick? The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. A classic and one of my faves. What’s YOUR favorite Christmas movie? We have a ton in our collection but I’m always looking for more so please share.
5. I just got a new advent devotional in the mail this morning so I’m starting it a few days late…. “Pursuing the Christ” by Jennifer Kennedy Dean . It’s nice and small so I don’t feel too overwhelmed having to do a little catch-up. She wrote that Live A Praying Life study I did last year. I like her, she’s deep without being hard to comprehend.
6. My favorite quote from the reading I did today:
“In the gene pool of the Word made flesh, grace is a dominant gene.”
7. And the absolute capper in ushering the Christmas Spirit: Kelly at Laugh Every Day. Or more specifically, her 12 Days of Kindness project.
Every day for 12 days she and her children are looking for low or no cost ways to share the Christmas spirit by doing an act of kindness. Today she chose to donate to Bykota House as her act of kindness. Of course I loved that in itself, but I really just like the project as a whole and I’m feeling inspired just reading about what they are doing each day. I feel so lame admitting this but I’m kind of afraid to commit to joining because this time of year really kicks my butt and what if I’m totally lame and don’t follow through? But I’m going to pray about it and talk to the Hubby and kids and see if we can’t get ourselves in gear. I know it would benefit our family far more than it might benefit anyone we choose to do the acts of kindness for. If you want to join Kelly’s 12 Days, just click on over and grab the button and go for it!
More Quick Takes here.
Monday Morning In Cambodia
November 30, 2009 
Last night – Monday morning in Cambodia – my friend Rhonda posted this FB update:
My Monday—a woman is waiting for us at the gate to abandon her child. At least she stayed with the child and waited for us to awaken instead of just leaving the child and walking away.
Most of you know Rhonda and her family moved to Cambodia five years ago with a heart to serve the children left behind after adoptions shut down. They currently provide a home to seventeen children.
Make that eighteen.
On a Monday morning in November, a seven year old boy is handed off to strangers by a woman he has been calling mother. She adopted him but now has learned that she is pregnant and has decided she no longer wants this boy who shares no genetic material with her.
A seven year old boy cast aside, just like that.
Cambodia has been closed to American adoptions for nearly eight years now. For very good reasons. The system was corrupt to the very core. Founded on corrupt principles by an American woman who later served prison time for her crimes against the children of Cambodia. (Technically for document fraud and money laundering… all of which was done in the name of adoption.) It has taken all this time for Cambodia to write new laws that are stringent enough to meet international standards. Expectations are that the new improved laws will pass by the end of the year. It seems only a matter of time until the U.S. ban is lifted and Americans can once again adopt from Cambodia. And I am nervous.
I am nervous because I know that corruption does not go away just because we write new laws.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
We live in a fallen world where people use children for profit. Where a child’s value depends upon who they are entrusted to. Where agencies who purport to work in a child’s best interests go to any length to ensure a steady supply of babies for unsuspecting Westerners. Where a seven year old is left upon a doorstep because he is no longer considered worthy to be called “son”.
The new law encourages domestic adoptions above international ones. This is good – when possible, children should remain in their home country. Adjusting to a new family is hard enough without also losing your language, your culture, everything that is familiar to you. But a good law can’t change old attitudes overnight. Rhonda commented on her status – “The new adoption law that will soon take affect actually bans single men and women from adoption BECAUSE if they adopt while single, they will then marry and when they have their own child, they will abandon it.”
I can not understand this, having two biological children and two adopted children of my own. I would never choose any one of them over the others. But then, I have never been faced with that choice. And I have not been raised in a culture that values genetic ties above all else. So even as my blood boils, I try not to judge too harshly.
At the end of the day, all our rational discussions – and our heated ones too for that matter – can only go so far. At the end of the day, there is still a seven year old boy being left at the gates.
A friend of Rhonda’s asks, “Will you try and find a home for this little one?”
For Rhonda the answer is simple, obvious.
“At Bykota House, he has found a home.”
It costs $300 a month ($3600 a year) just to pay the rent on Bykota House. $300 a month seems like very little compared to what rents run around here – especially when you consider the size of the house. But the Benz’s do not have a large income and what they have each month is stretched far beyond the limits. Recently Rhonda confided to me, “We take care of expenses month to month with varying support for BH but there is never enough to set aside $300 each month toward this bill. Often we are short and it is quite a balancing act. We have so many low months and then when we have the occasional month with extra, that is always thrown towards the Drs clinic because we have so many medical needs and they let us run a NGO account or some other need that has been waiting.”
It bothers me that they are burdened by only $3600. It is a lot of money for a missionary family supporting eighteen additional children. But it’s not a lot of money for us. Especially not if many people each gave a little.
There are so many good causes, especially this time of year. It seems like I’m asked for money practically every day. And it’s not like we’re feeling flush with money what with the economy tanking like it is. But still, I can’t stop thinking what it must be like. Waking up on Monday morning to find a woman at your gate. A small scared seven year old boy standing next to her. “Take him” she says. And walks away. There is no time for an assessment of the budget. No time to discuss what sociological and societal problems led to this moment. Nothing to do but open the gate, and welcome the child.
And suddenly I realize this is about more than just one seven year old boy. This boy is to me a reminder of what this time of year is really about. It’s not the decorating, the cleaning or the shopping. It’s not my ten mile long to-do list or even a visit to Santa Claus. It’s about opening the gate… and welcoming the Child.
“… Whoever welcomes a little child like this in My name welcomes Me.” Matthew 18:5
If you would like to make a contribution to Bykota House or to the Benz’s please see their website for more information.
You can also contribute to Bykota House by shopping at the Bykota House Zazzle store - where you’ll find a number of Cambodia themed items as well as Christmas cards and stationary, photographic art and more.
Coming Out Of The Christmas Fog
Don’t you hate it when you are super busy for days and then you finally find the time to blog and you realize there is just no way on earth you can possibly summarize all the activities of the last howevermany days? That’s when I’m glad that someone invented bullets.
* Christmas Eve. When our oldest was little we created our own Christmas Eve traditions. Every year we see a kids movie at the theater, go to the early Christmas Eve service at church, and then have Chinese food (or some other type of Asian food) for dinner. After dinner the kids get ready for bed and Daddy reads the story of Jesus’ birth to them. And then they each get to open a new ornament chosen (or made) especially for them. And then we send them off to bed so we can get down to the business of last minute wrapping and a million other things that have to happen before we can settle our brains for a long winters nap. It’s a totally stress-free family-centered day and I love love love it. This year we saw Bolt. Really cute and funny. Totally worth seeing, at matinee prices or on netflix. (There are few movies that are worth full night-time prices, IMHO).
* Christmas Morning. We were up around 8:30 to open presents. (my kids sleep in, even on Christmas – isn’t that great?) It was an orderly affair, and also lots of fun. I was super excited for Hubby to open my gift – I got him this cool radio that magically picks up stations from all over the world. (okay, there’s some internt-wifi flimflam involved, but I just call it “magic”) (and Hubby, if you are reading and happen to click on that link, I totally got it for a better price than that, I promise!!).
And then Hubby gave me a giant box – with approximately 23 successively smaller boxes wrapped inside it. It was totally cracking me up. Inside the tiniest box was a memory card. I was so busy imagining something sparkly that I didn’t know what to think when I saw that. I assumed it was sort of a joke, and moved on. Because I am just that dense, apparently. And then a few minutes later I was handed a normal-sized rectangular box and guess what was inside that???? Yes ladies and gentlemen, it was THE camera – the one all the cool kids on the block have (or had, until they moved up to an even better one, but they all started with this one) – the D40!!! To say I was surprised would be the understatement of the year. I wanted this camera – have wanted it forever – I needed this camera (mine is lame and was acting all wonky lately) – but I did not think I would get this camera because, well, there’s the small matter of two mortgages and I assumed that meant very little in the way of Christmas gifts. So thank you Santa, because I LOVE my new camera!! I already took 396 pictures with it, in 5 short days. (Which was easier than it sounds because we spent most of that time in upstate NY with all of my family.) The camera, It is awesome. So awesome I think I have to share some of my photos. I can’t share the ones I really really want to share because they’re of my kids and you know how paranoid I am about showing their faces to the universe via the internet. I might have to put up a password protected post just for my nearest and dearest internet pals though because these pictures are begging to be shared. But let me see if I can find some non-kid photos…
This is my sister’s dog, Maya. Isn’t she adorable? Most well-behaved dog, ever. Puts our dogs to shame.
This is a butterfly at one of those butterfly houses at the children’s museum we went to with my parents and my sister and her kids.
This is pretty scenery from somewhere in Pennsylvania. I took it as we were driving down the freeway, at 65mph. That, my friends, is simply amazing.
I also took this one as we went cruising down the highway. Only this one is through the window glass, because I couldn’t roll down the window because the kids were sleeping. I got amazing adorable photos of Zeeb sleeping which I can’t show you because duh, they are of his face. But trust me, they are adorable. His face is all peaceful and his lips are all puckered and his cheeks are just a little pink … so cute. Anyway, an Amish horse-buggy is rather cool too, so be happy with that.
This is just good advice. Those sign-makers in PA are clever, no?
And here we have a two-bulleted “list” for a post. Pathetic. But it took me more than an hour and now I have to go figure out what on earth we’re having for dinner. It was rather nice at my parent’s house, where my step-mom did all the cooking. Reality bites, I tell ya.
Hey! Unto You A Child Is Born!
So I realized this morning that perhaps one of the reasons it doesn’t feel like it can possibly be Christmas Eve already is that we didn’t attend a single Christmas program this year. The kids are out of pre-school and we attend a larger church now and so they weren’t part of any pageants; we didn’t even have a cheesy “winter” music program at school. December was plenty busy without any extra programs thrown in, but still in a way I think I missed it. Thankfully, I have the Herdmans to help me out.
I found The Best Christmas Pageant Ever on DVD a couple of years ago and now we watch it every year. I loved the book, and I love this movie. There’s nothing like the exuberance of a child to remind you of the miracle of Christmas. And because I figure everyone can always use a little reminding, this morning I had Hubby upload this scene to YouTube, just so I could share it with you.
Merry Christmas.
