it all comes back to schools

I got The Optimistic Child from the library last week and added to the list of books I’m currently reading (three at the same time, which is only slightly confusing!). I’m 100 pages into it and like it so much I’m going to buy the latest edition when it comes out later this month. I expected it to be good, based on the class we had at heritage camp; I expected to learn more about how attitude and mindset can affect my child and help her to be more resilient and deal with stress better. What I didn’t expect was the connection the author made between the Self Esteem movement and the quality of education in America:

The effects of teaching self-esteem are not confined to teachers mouthing self-contradictory slogans (if everybody is special, is anybody special?). Kids soon learn to ignore such flattery as insincere anyway. The self-esteem movement has teeth. It has helped lead to the abolition of tracking, lest those on lower tracks suffer damaged self-esteem; to the abandonment of IQ testing, lest those who score low feel low self-esteem; to massive grade inflation, lest those who earn D’s feel bad; to teaching aimed at the very bottom of the class, to spare the feelings of the kids slower to learn (now that they are untracked); to competition becoming a dirty word; to the demise of rote memorization of epic material; and to less plain old hard work. Each tactic is used to protect the feelings of self-esteem of the kids who would otherwise be outshone. This gain is deemed to outweigh any benefits lost to the kids who would shine. …

America has seen thirty years of a concerted effort to bolster the self-esteem of its kids. This movement would be justified if it worked and self-esteem were on the rise. But something striking has happened to the self-esteem of American children during the era of raising our children to feel good. They have never been more depressed.

The school portion of the quote didn’t really surprise me… I remember this one great Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin complained that the bad grade his teacher gave him was lowering his self esteem - clearly many people have seen what a joke the whole movement is for some time now. But to read it from the viewpoint of an expert in child psychology, well, that did surprise me.  I’d like to think since this book was published in 1995 that maybe the Powers That Be in public education have caught on to this truth and that maybe, just maybe, the Self Esteem movement and all the resulting dumbing down in schools is on the way out.  I’m just wondering how long that might take to trickle down to our little small town school?

 

How many blogs equal one book?

I’m a lot calmer this week, now that I know K~ isn’t going to be stuck with the world’s worst teachers. Amazing how much wondering about that had been weighing on me. I wonder, do you think at least 20% of parents are in a similar panic this fall? Why 20%? Because that’s apparently the number of Americans who can’t find the United States on a world map. At least, according to the question given to poor Miss Teen South Carolina during the Miss Teen USA pageant. This video is everywhere, but in case you haven’t seen it, here’s her response:

Let me just say, it’s absolutely clear that the poor girl was really nervous and thrown by the question and she went on the Today Show and proved she really is an intelligent young woman. But it’s a funny clip and the unpopular geek in me can’t help taking a dig at a beautiful blond.

Anyway… I’m still tripping over the statistic: One in Five Americans can’t find the US on a world map? What the heck?

Oh but wait, it gets better. Last night Jay Leno brought up this new statistic: One in four adults say they read no books at all in the past year. No. Books. As in None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero Books. Okay, I know we’re all really busy and all that, but how can a person go an entire year without reading a single book?

And lest you think these two statistics are some kind of anomaly, check out these findings from the 2006 National Geographic-Roper Survery of Geographic Literacy :

• 20% of young Americans think Sudan is in Asia.
• Half of young Americans can’t find New York on a map.
• Nearly three-quarters incorrectly named English as the most widely spoken native language.

Looking at these statistics, I’m struck by a couple things: First, a lot of parents are really slackin’ on the job. If kids don’t see mom and dad reading, why would they see any point to picking up a book? And how hard is it to put a world map on the wall? (note to self: go find the world map in my closet and put it back up on the kids’ wall!) And second, the crisis in our schools seems more like an inevitability. Which then makes me even more aware of how important it is to find a quality school district that will challenge my kids all the way through high school. Which leads me back to Denver…

Thankfully, Hubby is more on board with the Denver idea these days. It helped that on Saturday he took some time to look into job options and found a few positions that are very interesting to him. And then we spent one evening looking at the real estate listings in the Denver area and saw all these houses with basements (very few basements here in the PNW) and killer views and 5 bedrooms… and he was won over. Now there’s just the minor detail of finding him the perfect job… But somehow it feels like there’s less pressure now which makes it ever so much easier to leave things in God’s hands and trust everything will work out okay, whether we move to Denver or not.

Oh hey, before I forget again… head over to the Viet Nam Adoption Blog where Rebecca is doing a Viet Nam Adoptive Families Interview Series! She interviews 4 families (including me, but that’s not why you should go read it!) about all things related to adopting from Vietnam. She also has a lot of other great info on her blog, like information about the different provinces and procedures and all kinds of stuff. So head on over and check it out.

 

the big school decision

We got K~’s 7th grade class schedule yesterday. The good news is, she didn’t get Mrs. F~, or Mrs. S~ (her teacher from last year who was supposed to teach 7th grade science this year). Or that’s bad news - if you’re K~ and you were really hoping to be homeschooled. I’d been praying all week and basically decided that if she got one or more really bad teachers, we’d go ahead and home school; but if not, we’d give middle school another chance. I haven’t been able to get detailed info on all her teachers yet, but so far we know she has a really good math teacher (a miracle right there) and her Language Arts/Social Studies teacher and Science teachers are both young; this will be their 5th year of teaching. I’m hoping Young = Excited About Teaching And Willing To Try New Things. Her Science teacher is in the reserves and has been to Iraq for a year stint at least once. The weird thing is K~ said the 6th graders who had him last year had a “goodbye” party for him near the end of the year last year. Would they give her a teacher who’s off in the military - or rather, put his name on the schedule and then give the class a sub for most of the year? Obviously I’m going to need to figure that out. I don’t know anything else about the LA/SS teacher yet, but for now my plan is to contact her (call? email? go in? What do you all think?) and offer to help in the class one morning a week while Zeeb’s in pre-school. I’ll do anything - correct papers, make copies, tutor kids - I just want to get in there and have a chance to get to know this teacher and her teaching style. Language Arts is K~’s area of strength and I hate that it was completely wasted last year. And’s that’s the game plan, for now at least.  

***UPDATED TO ADD: I just spoke to our neighbor (and her 9th grade son) … they couldn’t believe what a great schedule K~ got. They said her LA/SS teacher is “the best in the school” and the Science teacher is “cool” and the boy liked him a lot. And when I told them about her math teacher they were literally taken aback. My neighbor said, “Holy cow! You got the trifecta! Those are the best teachers she could get!” And all I could say was, “wow, I guess prayer works!” Seriously, I am just amazed… if these teachers are half as good as they say, K~ will have such a better experience this year. It’s not gifted-quality classes, but it’s the best we could hope for in this district, and for that I am so grateful. ****

Meanwhile, Hubby said he’ll send some resumes out to Denver companies this weekend. But he’s not happy about it. He just started a new position at work and I think he was hoping to be done with looking for jobs for a while. And the idea of getting our house ready to sell, put it on the market and finding a new house in Denver isn’t appealing to him much either. I understand, I really do, I just don’t see what options we have. We could stay here and do nothing, but the school district is not going to miraculously become a bastion of gifted education - we’d be stuck with the status quo, which is just not acceptable to me. But I keep praying, in case there’s a local option I’m just missing. I’m trying really hard not to do that “Here’s what I want to do - God, can you bless it?” thing that I tend to do. I really want to know we are following His lead, and not the other way around. The thing is, how do you know? I mean, where did the idea for Denver come from in the first place? Was it divine inspiration, or just random web surfing? I guess at this point I have to prayerfully leave it in God’s hands… I mean we can’t move unless Hubby gets a good job offer, so that would be a pretty clear sign one way or another, right?

In the meantime, it’s our very last weekend in August. And it’s like 60 degrees and cloudy out. Lovely. Regardless, we shall do our very best to have a nice relaxing weekend enjoying the fact that the kids don’t have homework or soccer games or any other responsibilities. Who knows when that’s going to happen again?

 

more on the school issue

Ok, the downstairs is vacuumed, two loads of laundry folded, dishes are done… yep, I’ve earned myself a few minutes of guilt-free blogging! LOL.

Thanks for the comments and suggestions in regards to our middle school issues and my grass-is-greener syndrome. It’s pretty much on my mind all the time now, so let me catch you up on what it running through my head today…

So I’m trying to be open to private school, but I don’t think it’s a very realistic option for us. We actually started K~ and A~ in a private Christian school, but when we decided to adopt we realized we couldn’t afford to do both. And while I really liked the Christian school environment, I wasn’t all that impressed that the education they were getting was significantly better than what they could get in public school. Or at least, in the program for the gifted at the public school. And while I’m babbling, let me just say I love our elementary school. The principal is a great guy, a christian and their family adopted a 7 year old boy from Ethiopia about a year ago, but even aside from the personal things, he just knows how to run a good school. My kids have had great teachers. I’m thrilled that A~ and R~ both have their same teachers as last year (mulitage classrooms) because I really respect and genuinely like both of them. Which, I think, is what made our entry into The Middle School From Hell so shocking and disappointing.

But I digress. Back to the private school thing… it would have to be a school specifically for gifted kids, or at least geared to be academically challenging. There is a private Christian “classical education” school not far from us, but it’s very expensive and I’ve heard some odd things about the administration. So that’s a “No”. Which leaves the highly academic private schools 45 minutes or more from our house… which are also insanely expensive. And while we might be able to pinch pennies, change our lifestyle, have me get a job, etc… we have 4 kids. And I know for certain that A~ is going to need the same type of education as K~. (he’s stronger in math than she is, but also pretty strong in other subjects). I’m pretty sure that R~ is more of a “typical” learner but even still, I don’t think the middle school is adequate regardless of what type of learner the child is. And there’s no way we can swing private school tuition for all of them. Around and around it goes.

Yesterday afternoon I had a chat with our neighbor - her kids are entering 8th and 9th grades, so she’s had a lot of experience with the 7th grade teachers. She said she’ll be happy to tell me about K~’s teachers when we get her schedule on Friday. And then she said there’s one particular teacher, Mrs. F, who is “good but kind of harsh with the kids.” I probed for more details and she said basically the teacher doesn’t like the kids to ask questions (”I already explained that in class”), she’ll “punish” a kid if their parent speaks up, and she gives about three times as much homework as necessary, including lots of busywork like crossword puzzles. It was giving me scary flashbacks from last year. My neighbor said as unpleasant as this woman is, she wouldn’t want any of the other teachers, because this one is the best. (She teaches Language Arts and Social Studies) Well, great. Because there is NO way that K~ can have a teacher like that. It would destroy her self esteem. And that Bad Habit? Yeah, it gets worse when she’s stressed. But the other option is for her to have a teacher who doesn’t teach the subjects as well. Great choice, huh? I’m hoping my neighbor just doesn’t know as much about the other teachers and that maybe, possibly, there might exist a person who can both teach the subjects and be kind to the students at the same time. But I’m not holding my breath.

Which leads me back to homeschooling. I actually already looked at our state virtual academy. I love that there is a state-funded homeschool curriculum with good support available to families… but I don’t think it’s right for us. I just think if I’m going to make the effort to homeschool, I want to pick the curriculum. I have a degree in education (K-8) so I know what I’m looking for, and I would love to incorporate a Christian worldview too. If I have to, we can make homeschooling work this year. But it really doesn’t seem like a good permanent solution for us, so I’m still looking.

Which, brings me back to Colorado. Yesterday I found this site that compares all the states and their gifted education policies. Also helpful is it lists many of the options for gifted education, both private and public in each state. I don’t think the lists are exhaustive, but they are a good start and many have reviews too, which is a bonus. And what a surprise, Colorado has better state policies and more educational options than Washington does. In Colorado the law mandates that gifted programming be offered, whereas in Washington, “The offering of a program by a school district to serve highly capable students with categorical state funds is optional. ” Which means we should count ourselves lucky that our district even bothered with the 2nd-5th grade program. Both states only partially fund gifted programs, which puts them squarely behind Oklahoma where it’s both mandated and fully funded! But no, I’m not thinking of a move to Oklahoma. Anyway, lots more research to do, and in the meantime Hubby actually looked at the list of tech employers in Denver, so there’s a little tiny bit of progress there too.

Well, my guilt-free blogging time is up so I’d better run… I have a date to cuddle on the couch and read books with R~ this afternoon!

 

It was nice while it lasted

Last night I had this dream; I was in an elevator with Hubby and at least two of our kids and a few strangers. The elevator had a window, or maybe the whole outside wall was glass and we could see outside as we went up and up. I’m afraid of heights and it got to a point that I couldn’t look, we were going up so high. We kept going and going and going and I thought to myself, “I had no idea buildings could be this high”. Then suddenly I wasn’t in the elevator anymore, but everyone else was. I was asking directions to another building or a better elevator, I think. And then Hubby was there, with the kids. And I said, “I thought you were on the elevator.” and he said, “The stupid thing was broken. It turned out we weren’t going anywhere.”

It does not take an analytical genius to figure out what’s on my mind these days.

I had a nice summer. For about six weeks, I completely put K~’s Bad Habit and all our middle school troubles out of my mind. Just didn’t worry about them. And actually, the Bad Habit seemed to be gone for a while there. And I was comfortable telling myself that I could always homeschool K~ if she got another set of crappy teachers this year.

The Bad Habit didn’t go away, it just lessened for a while and now it’s back with a vengeance. We’ve been going to the therapist for the last few months, so it’s not like we’ve been ignoring the issue. I thought it was working. I’m so frustrated I could cry. Or scream. But neither seems to be a very productive solution. I know this is K~’s issue not mine. But I’m her mom. It’s hard to reason that I’m in no way responsible or that there’s nothing I can do.

And I’m just not sure I can do the homeschooling thing. Nicki and Jenn both make homeschooling sound ideal and fun and even rather do-able. But I just don’t know that it’s right for me, or for K~. I mean, I’m still thinking it might be the best way to get her through 7th grade, but it doesn’t seem like a good permanent solution for us. And frankly, our high school isn’t that much better than the middle school. Aside from the lack of good gifted/honors options, the electives aren’t that great either. Like they only offer two years of Spanish language and no other language options. How pathetic is that, in this day and age?

And then the other day Hubby sent me a link to this article in Time magazine. I’m not saying my kids are certified geniuses, but quotes like these worry me:

gifted students drop out at the same rates as nongifted kids–about 5% of both populations leave school early

To some extent, complacency is built into the system. American schools spend more than $8 billion a year educating the mentally retarded. Spending on the gifted isn’t even tabulated in some states, but by the most generous calculation, we spend no more than $800 million on gifted programs. But it can’t make sense to spend 10 times as much to try to bring low-achieving students to mere proficiency as we do to nurture those with the greatest potential.

That article got me searching the web again and I found an article by the author of The War Against Excellence about the “Middle schoolism” movement. When she says,

Too many educators see middle schools as an environment where little is expected of students either academically or behaviorally, on the assumption that self-discipline and high academic expectations must be placed on hold until the storms of early adolescence have passed.

She is describing K~’s middle school, to a T.

Combined with Hubby’s lack of satisfaction at work the last year or so, I decided maybe all signs are pointing to a move. Like out of state. We’ve already tossed aside the New Hamshire idea, so I started looking elsewhere. Denver’s looking good to me. They have lots of high tech jobs and a few of the school districts have amazing programs for gifted kids. Like an entire K-8 school just for gifted kids. And additional honors programs in their other schools. And frankly, a fresh start sounds nice in a lot of ways. New schools, new church, new workplace for Hubby…. Yes, I have “grass is greener” syndrome really really bad.

I would be really sad to let this house go. We built it ourselves and it’s so very “me.” And I love our 4 acres of woods. And I’ve never felt at home anywhere besides the Pacific Northwest. And Hubby isn’t all that gung-ho about making a huge move. So, probably we won’t move.   Which leaves me right where I started, with no idea how to solve our school problem.

See how that elevator-going-nowhere dream makes perfect sense now?